No matter where life takes us, we had something special. i never wanted it to end and i never wanted to replace it. but there's nothing i can do.

Now, i am in that moment when you want to tell someone that they’re all that you think about, but everything else has gotten in the way... In that moment when you wanna tell someone how much you miss them...That moment when you just really want to let go & burst out but you can’t because the time for 'that' has passed and you have to deal with the pain. That moment when you really wish they were still there, even as a friend, &you didn’t feel awkward texting or even calling them. That moment when you can’t say anything about it, because it can no longer be so.. ;(

The moment when you feel hollow&go through the motions of living, but cannot seem to understand if you actually is or not. That moment when you’re trying to make sense of what happened &why you always cause this. That moment when you are so happy and then a familiar song comes around and it once brought you so high, but now the words swirl within your mind creating a horrible whirlpool that sucks away all feelings and leaves you completely empty. It's haunting me, i guess. HEHE 
I can still remember when my former flame told me she loved me so much and she'll never let me go. Funny isn't it? coz i still remember every bits of the words she told me before. We had such an amazing time when we were together. It was just perfect. I really thought the world of her. Then out of nowhere things that should not happen, happened.

We were like strangers, who knew each other very well.

What I don't understand is after all that hurt why do i miss her so much? Will it just go in time.. Hmmm, i'm supposed to go to Aklan tomorrow, because of her but after our break up I've decided not to go there. I even lied to my sister about it. I told my sister that it's okay with me(but i feel bad about it though). I just want to protect myself because the moment that i might see her- it'll just remind me that i love her so much. It will just make me realize that after all this time i haven't even made any progress upon moving on and to make matters worst it's because i don't want her to see me at my lowest, ever.