Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it’s still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you’re like me, you just keep chasing the storm. The problem with chasing the storm is that it wears you down, breaks your spirit. Even the experts agree, a girl needs closure.” 
Veronica Mars     

After a few weeks of not blogging, i decided to write something that's kinda connected on hardships in life mine to be exact. *winks. I don't know, but it feels like I'm on a battlefield, a warzone, yess, that's life. You see, I have my moments too.. On the outside everthings seems so perfect, but if u really cared to look more closely you'll see how messy can things get. I have to be strong. I have to. 
I was asked once, why do you have to be so hard to understand? And I was like have you ever really tried to understand me because it's not rocket science to know why.
In these tough times you will really know what should stay in your life && what you have let go. The only things that keeps me going is knowing why I should put up with all these madness, is that problems are only existing if you're afraid to solve them. I'm not the melodramatic type, i guess for the past months I'm not but sometimes there will be a point in your life that seems unbearable. It's exhausting to think that probably it will never go away. I just wish for it to stop, but i know i'm stronger than this.
I'll get by from this phase.. Happiness is a choice <3

I'm fighting the urges. I'm fighting the demons that are inside of me && the voices inside my head telling me that i'm not good enough. (stay strong) I know, it’s hard to do but i need to. The thing is, i know i don’t deserve all of this pain. I don’t. I deserve to be happy & to have an actual shot at life. I'm good enough. I'm perfectly me. Everyone is different, and that’s what makes me so effing special. :-) 
I’m not a sad depressing person, I think this is just for now. Quite opposite actually. I believe I’m quite happy and bubbly most of the time.