I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I wanna stay and make a difference I can make. Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools, the gifts we've got. Yeah we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend for us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not, and who I am.

- Jason Mraz

Ever have that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on? With friendships, you're dealing with someone you have allotted everything with (even most embarrassing things). And of course you are dealing with a person who has probably see you at your god-awful worst, someone who knows the best of you and the worst of you && someone who you obviously click with in some important way. It's not all that easy for most people to find close friends, so the thought of losing one can be so terrifying.
So yesterday, I had deep conversation with my best friendWe talked about every little things that we can think about then we jumped on the topic about what had happened last wednesday & things that almost ended our friendship. I realized so many things & one of them is being too weak. I thought i was doing the right thing, but i guess it's not that right.

More than too much weight on my shoulders, it feels like I'm such a loser. I didn't fight for what's really mine. I  just gave up & didn't try hard enough to keep her.  I know that it sucks that i'd let her down somehow, but i never meant to.  I thought it was the right thing to do. But when I said don't go, i'm glad that she stayed close. I guess things are getting better for the both of us because everything is becoming fine now, really fine!

"These days, in this fast paced world, it seems like people are so quick to throw away good friends and relationships just because something isn't working out. What we forget in life is that friendships — all friendships — go through there up and down moments. And all friendships (all relationships really) are meant to be messy. And sometimes they are supposed to change. So before you dump that friend you think you've grown apart from — stop and ask yourself this: Have I sat down with them lately and looked them in the eye? Have I asked them simple questions like "How is your life?" or "How are you feeling?" Ask yourself if you've done all you can to make this relationship work. Sometimes you may need to dig in deeper and ride out a rough patch. Or sometimes you will just need to let go.
"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."  Audrey Hepburn (Actress)"

It's important to never give up on someone, because you could be missing out on something bigger than you could ever imagine

I just want my best friend, that's all i can think about everyday. All i want is to take the opportunity that God has given us. To know that we can be mature about everything. I don't want some any other best friend from wherever. All i want is her & I don't wanna lose her again because of an idiotic mistake.
I don’t want this to end, not now or ever again. I love how our friendship is growing and i want to take care of it. She is the greatest thing that has happened to me and I made a horrible mistake when i let her down which I regret every second. Things were done cannot be undone, and I accept that.
I think this is the right time. It's my turn to make things right. I don't think moving will help me & being away will make me feel any less.  I know by now that  I'm not really changing. All this crap && all that has happened only made my feelings stronger. I’m not gonna change : MY MIND nor MY HEART. Sometimes yes , sometimes no , sometimes i don't know anymore, but now its so clear. I am not giving up. I will fight for this friendship. What's mine is mine. Screw everyone else seriously. Im tired of what others thinking . It sucks to not be able to have her. No. All we did and went through, I cant just let that go. So no, I stay firm to my point and cause. Her. She is what I will never give up on. 
I love her, and there is no way that is changing. Not giving up.