Can I be frank? I would appreciate it if you could please stop coming into my house. It is intrusive and annoying. You are unwelcome! Have you no sense of boundaries?
Okay, I know it’s not that frequent, but the severity of my dislike for you makes your presence seem constant instead of sporadic. I don’t mind so much when we happen to stumble upon each other outside - you seem more in your element out of doors (no offense) and the disturbance is temporary and escapable. But inside my home? There you are not appreciated.
Can we come to some sort of an agreement? A truce? You stay off my property forever and I promise never to drown you or any of your kin in wasp spray again because we are out of raid. Deal?
**in reference to the spiders the size of my fist i keep finding in the corners of my abode. okay, there have only been 3 sightings in the past 3 weeks (we regularly fog for unwanted critters - health risks be darned!) and one of them was this morning.
**Also, one of them came back to life right before my eyes after days of confirmed deadness (i can't be the only one who kills them and leaves the carcass for my husband to discard of.) it literally faked it's own death for days in the same position. and then suddenly came raging back to life at the most inopportune moment as I struggle to plunge an overflowing toilet from the safety of the bathroom sink in our tiny bathroom as it ran wild around the floor. i've got all sorts of willies about it.